He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize