It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
