Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
