We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
