i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
