Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
