Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
