you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize