I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
