**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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