Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
