Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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