I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
