You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
