I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize