I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
