is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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