It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
