Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize