he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
