yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
