Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
