When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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