She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
