I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if only i could text you this smell
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
