I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
