So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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