I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
