i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
