Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
