He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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