During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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