woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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