If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
