I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
