"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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