so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
