i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
