You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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