i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You pole danced in your parka.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
