when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
