I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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