My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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