ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she looked like the before picture.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
