He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
