and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
