You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
