hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize