While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
