omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
