please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
