just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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