Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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