i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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