the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
