do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
