Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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