found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
