hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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