She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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