Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
