I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
