I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
