Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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