so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
