hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
