3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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