I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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