Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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