she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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